02 July 2012

Learning to be alone

I typically don't have a problem being alone. I used to savor my alone time. However, when solitude is forced upon me, rather than being an option, that's a different story. That's when being alone turns into loneliness. Loneliness, I do not like. 

I don't have any true friends in the city. I have people to socialize with after work, but no one I'm truly close to. A (couple) good friend(s) from back home told me this is normal. They both said that it will take time to make true friends and not to push it if the people aren't right. I think know they're right. I don't want to force myself to spend time with people that aren't right, or good, for me just because I'm lonely. I'll find my niche eventually, but right now I need to learn to spend time alone. 

My uncle told me that I should take advantage of this time in my life. I can do whatever I want without discussing it with anyone or feeling obligated to invite anyone along. He said that this is the only time I will have for the rest of my life that is truly my own. Once I get settled into a career or a group of friends or a relationship my time will never be completely mine again. He's right, too. Kind of. I do have work obligations and since I live with a family, I have obligations to them. But, for the most part, my free time is my own. And that's exciting, I guess. 

Problem is, I don't like doing certain things alone. I don't like going out to eat alone. I'm sure I could enjoy a museum or the zoo alone, but it doesn't particularly appeal to me. So, I need to learn to be comfortable doing things on my own. And that's a challenge. But it's one I'm willing to accept and maybe even embrace. I don't want to look back on this time in my life and regret the way I spent it.

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